Happiness Can't Be Found Looking Back

It's all too easy to look back and wonder, "Why did I do that?" or "Why didn't I do that?" There's no way to go back and change anything. A life of "if onlys" is no way to live.

While I can't go back and stop myself from making the mistakes I've made, every morning is a chance to start over, to move ahead toward the future I want. Or, more accurately, the future I believe God wants me to have. If the future I want isn't the future He wants me to have, He'll put up roadblocks. He's done that with other things I've wanted to do.

I can see now that some of the things I wanted would have been bad for me. "Which of you, if your son asks for bread, will give him a stone?" Matthew 7:9, NIV+ Although it's not in the Bible, I also believe that if I ask God for a stone, He's not going to give me a stone - he's going to give me bread. So many of the things I asked for in the past were stones, not bread.

I'm not going to live in the past anymore. It's time to press on. I'll stumble along the way, since I won't be perfect until I'm in heaven. Stumbling along as I move forward is better than a life of looking back in regret. Maybe I won't become a children's novelist. Maybe I won't become a horse artist. Maybe I'll never be anything more than a cowgirl at heart.

Whatever the future holds for me, like the apostle Paul, I want to be able to say, "Not that I have already obtained all this, or have already arrived at my goal, but I press on to take hold of that for which Christ Jesus took hold of me. Brothers and sisters, I do not consider myself yet to have taken hold of it. But one thing  I do: Forgetting what is behind and straining toward what is ahead, I press on toward the goal to win the prize for which God has called me heavenward in Christ Jesus." Philippians 3:12-14, NIV+ Paul didn't ignore his past, but he didn't drag it around with him.

I need to saddle up my horse (figuratively for now) and follow where Jesus leads. I'm hoping that will lead me to becoming a successful novelist and artist. If it doesn't, though, that's okay. It just means God has something even better in mind for me.

Why look back when that's not the direction I want to go?